I was raised by women and growing up as a teen and young adult, most of my friends were female. And I always remember hearing the "when a man has a cold... etc" joke. Even today when you look on social media it is the norm to man bash a bloke for getting sick. Like its something that we should feel ashamed of. Don't get me wrong! I work with a pretty diverse team and I agree that sometimes the fellas can be a little quick to deem themselves unfit for work...
Or is the problem with me in that I have been conditioned to not admit to illness as a result of an upbringing where a man being ill was mocked? This whole episode has really got me thinking... Why am I battling this? Why am I playing down the severity of this virus? Why do I feel like I need to explain to my wife that if I needed to I could still get up and "put a shift in!"? Why do I feel ashamed that I am laying in bed resting while she is taking care of everything? I mean, when she and the boys get sick, I bend over backwards to make sure that they are all taken care of and don't have to lift a finger. So why do I feel this shame...?
Fortunately it looks like I'm going to have quite a few days to try and figure this out as this futha-mukkin virus is not playing about! So on the outside I guess it just looks like a regular cold and flu case. Just like they report in the media. I am quite resistant to illness, like I said in yesterdays post, I never get ill. Or now I look at it as, maybe I did, I just never felt that as a man I could show it through fear of being ridiculed... You have your classic symptoms. Cough. Fever. Aches and pains etc... But then you have this odd sensation of being out of breath after even the simplest of physical tasks. Think walking down the corridor to use the facilities and then returning to your bed. (Yeah. Seriously!)
Even holding a conversation with someone actually takes its toll. Not, puffed out like you have just sprinted for a bus because you are late for work puffed out, more like a when your face is obstructed by a scarf or mask type feeling. Its peculiar. My appetite has been OK. It is not its usual ravenous self but I have eaten, and eaten very healthily. Merilin has also been making sure that my vitamin intake is on point. She is a great carer is that wife of mine. I'm a lucky man.
But the major thing has to be the BOREDOM! They say be careful what you wish for because you might just get it... Well, I've just got my wish and my goodness is it challenging! The amount of times I claimed that I would love it if I didn't have to do ANYTHING for a few days. Just sit back, chill and watch TV. (I don't even really like TV but that is always what I have associated with doing nothing!) and when it is gifted to me...? TAKE ME NOW LORD!!! My goodness its dull! Did you know that you can actually "complete" social media? Yep! Done it twice, mate!
My new thing is seeing how many different advertisements can tempt me to part with my money! A strong contender at the minute is the "Nut Shaver". With the tag line "Nip your sack, sending it back!" I have to admit, its most certainly a contender...
Well anyway, those are my musings of day 2 on lock down. So far nothing that I cannot handle. I just really miss cuddles with my boys. Hearing them downstairs or giggling in their bedroom is tough. But I understand the severity of this virus. And I will do everything in my power to not infect them or anyone else. I really hope that you are all doing the same?
Stay safe, stay healthy. Much love!
Dead End Dad AKA Tommy Danquah #Deadenddad
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