Man down! Man down!
On Friday 20th March 2020 I woke up with a dry cough, high temperature, aching body and the fear and realisation that the dreaded Corona Virus had made it's long awaited arrival into the Blackonian territory. (For those of you who have NO idea what a Blackonian is I'll explain. I am a "Black" man. My wife is an "Estonian" and together we are the "Blackonians". Simple. Anyways, I digress..) Even in the midst of denial "I'm ok" I told my wife, I knew that something was not quite right...
Put aside all the scaremongering and horror stories of the media, I genuinely believed that I would be one of the few that avoided this virus. As my wife regularly points out, in the 10 years of us knowing each other she has only ever seen me "run down", NEVER really ill. It is a long standing joke in our household that "Daddy never gets sick". And if I'm completely honest it's something that I am secretly very proud of...
So my immediate thoughts and fears were strangely not for my own health, I sort of figured that being young(ish), healthy(ish) and strong(ish) I would swot this virus to one side in a matter of days. (A bit like Mikel Arteta the Arsenal FC head coach who claimed that he would have popped a few cold and flu's and headed into work had The Corona Virus been made aware of in the news) But instead my fears immediately were for the wife and children. Merilin sleeps in the same bed as me every day and we are an affectionate couple. The boys were tucked up in bed by me the previous night and I am an affectionate Daddy. Lots of kisses, cuddles and snuggles. What if they now have it. What if they really struggle, how will I ever forgive myself???
Its amazing how when it comes to your children you are only able to recollect the "negative" information you have read on the virus as you attempt the mind over matter or positive thought process on things. Speaking of the mind, mine was all over the place. With a temperature of 38.8 whatever the thoughts were that I was having were not making too much sense! "If invaders came here I could still get up and fight" I declared to my wife at one point! Obviously my subconscious ego needed to reassure her that the family were all still safe under my watch. Good lord above!
I think the worst parts of this virus is that you HAVE to stay away from everyone. Like I said, we actually are a very affectionate family. So being home at the same time as my kids (which is rare as I work in hospitality) and not be able to play, hug and kiss them is awful.
Also the feeling of helplessness that you have. Obviously London is now on lockdown so my wife and I were both set for our first days of working from home with 2 children in tow which in itself is challenging enough. All of a sudden Merilin was in a position of doing this all by herself with the added responsibility of taking care of me as well. (I'd like to add that she bossed this challenge, like everything else she does in life!)
And if you are a genuine get up and go type of person... FORGET ABOUT IT!!! This is torture! I woke at 6.30am and by 9am I was going stir crazy! I honestly felt like I had been locked away for the whole day! It had only been 3 hours!!! FML! And I have to go another 6 days of this... It is unnatural for me to stay in bed or not be up and about doing something. Merilin brought the projector up to the room so I could watch TV but to be honest I am really not much of a fan. So any suggestions for an invalid would be greatly appreciated.
Well the headache and shivers have started to return now (they come and go in waves) so I will bring this blog to an end. Stay tuned for the next one titled "How To Smuggle Vegan Pizza And Beer Into Your Quarantined Area Without Your Wife Finding Out".
Until next time. Stay safe. Practice social distancing. And please PLEASE don't be a dick that is stock piling so others don't have what they need to live. Much love. Tommy Danquah AKA #Deadenddad X
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